First Impression !

I remember once attempting to cajole a girl(Meeenakshi if I remember) with my then extreme athletic ability in school while I was playing soccer for the district and state .

It was back in the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium where I usualy used to practice everyday . I had this huge crush on this Meenakshi. Meenakshi was this national 4x100 athelete .. the most gorgeous athelete you could find in the stadium...She almost looked like a chiselled Greek Goddess ! And I always knew she had the hots for me !

And There she was walking by the football ground where I had been practicing my usual monstrously powerful Roberto Carlos Free kicks (I am a lefty predominantly with my legs)that erased the paint on the goal post. Well, this kick was going to be extra powerful. I timed everything perfectly.I placed the ball ! I got set at 8 feet from the ball .The dummy human wall was perfectly placed! I wanted to blast it through the wall into the left top corner! She was getting closer. I saw the goal mouth ,then the ball, then the goal mouth again. She was even closer. I did it again. She was close! One more look and then accelerate elegantly . I got into my stride ! I was sure she will be stunned ! just three more steps and the full swishhhh of my left leg! It was all poetry in motion! Except for one thing. I stepped on a perfectly placed funny looking round stone, it bounced up at a weird angle right up my shorts and hit me in my... well, you know what I mean. I remember something so painful enveloping me. I just collapsed to the ground ... I was crawling in the ground ,and screaming - I sounded like a wolf being tickled... Despite being almost paralysed, I somehow had a brief glimpse of her. She was watching me holding my ... ,and rolling on the ground and howling.She was not impressed.
Looking back at it is funny ! I dont remember the pain! Let me explain the connection to the flashback!
Apparently I am supposed to be mailing someone for the first time ! And as always all my cousins and friends are excited about how ridiculous I would end up looking in doing so! Here are some of the best suggestions I got

1)
Hello ,
I am partcularly intrigued by the funny names in your famiy . dont ever think u can name our kids like that. i like u u like me . lets reproduce soon. thats what the elders want to see

2)
hi,

I heard you are nice and calm. but i highly doubt. so why dont you reply telling me what makes you bad and naughty.

3) Hello ,
Reply to this email . then we shall talk about making babies


...

Well Well! I dont even know if anything is going to happen! But its fun being part of all this ! Whatever it is I love you all! so now u can guess who said which one !
Actually the best way to make a nice impression is to not try to make one. I've seen guys try to impress a girl. They look just like guys trying to impress a girl. They are more often the specimens used by the girls to be ridiculed. So its better to be urself! So, you see, don't try to impress a girl. Just be yourself. Don't make your eyes look like the o's in Google. Don't keep sticking your tongue out and licking your lips . Don't walk around with widened chest . Just be a nice homo sapien... Wait for the right time to introduce yourself. In fact, wait until some other moron has made a fool of himself and then you quickly introduce yourself. That way, you will look a much much better. It works! Geeez! Ive pissed off so many guys :p!!